Common Objections to Adoption

I saw this video on Facebook a couple of weeks ago and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. It spoke straight to my heart. Not to mention, several blogs that I follow have touched on some of these same points too in the last couple of weeks. While I would love to adopt again, I am THAT person that feels like we would have to make some major changes to our home and get a larger vehicle to accommodate a growing family. Plus, our money tree out back died a few summers ago when we had that severe drought. We simply cannot afford it.

I try to have faith that all those obstacles would somehow work themselves out. So, I have been praying very specifically now for an older child. I have really felt in the depths of my heart that if we ever adopted again, it would be an older boy and very likely a minority. However during my late night internet surfing, I saw a girl on a photolisting that I completely fell in love with. I know you can't get your hopes up over a photolisting, really I do. However, I wonder if it is God's way of telling me once again that my idea of what my family should look like isn't the way He wants it to look. You see, I haven't even looked at photolistings for girls in FOREVER because I was just dead set on a boy. My desire for a boy has a lot to do with the fact that boys are harder to place than girls and because of our housing situation with sharing bathrooms/bedrooms and such. Oh sure, we could make it work but it really isn't what "I" consider "ideal."

That is all for tonight as it is getting late and I am having a hard time organizing my rambling thoughts. However, tomorrow I will talk about what is "ideal."

Sweet & Ignorant

You've just got to love it when someone prefaces a conversation about someone by making the disclosure they are adopted. Even worse is when they tell me three times as if I didn't hear the first time. Then they rattle on about how this adopted person made terrible choices and has pretty much ruined their life, their adopted parent's lives, and many people's lives around them. While they don't say it, they must feel like it is somehow related to this person being adopted, after all the adoption disclosure was made three times!

Why would someone even dare start a conversation with me like that? Ignorance, plain and simple. You see Ignorance has a spouse that is a real dandy. Ignorance's spouse has made a lot of terrible mistakes too just like the adopted person has made. However, Ignorance's spouse is not adopted. Ignorance's spouse is a spoiled brat that had a great childhood and has never had to be accountable for anything. Oh, there are just so many parallels between Ignorance's spouse and the adopted person's lives. So what is the excuse here?

Adoption is a serious issue and is not to be taken lightly. However, people everywhere deal with adversities of all types every day. Life is not guaranteed to be easy or fair. I remember going off to college at 18 years old to the #4 party school in the nation. At orientation, we were told that any school could be a party school and that college is pretty much what you make out of it. I think the same idea applies to life. Remember the whole "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade" saying?

I just smiled at Ignorance. After all, Ignorance is sweet but ignorant and no malice was intended. However, sometimes I wish I could be like Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar just for one day. ;-)

Oh, Happy Days Are Here to Stay...I Pray!

Yesterday, we celebrated Fuller's 8th birthday. Instead of a birthday party this year, he got to have his first sleep over which turned out to be a huge success! Fuller had a blast surrounded with family, friends, cake and presents (and tons of swimming). One of his favorite presents was the NKOTBSB (New Kids On The Block/Back Street Boys) cd that I bought him. Yeah, I totally had my own interests at heart when I purchased it!

However mixed in with all the excitement, June 6th is another sad day in the adoption arena for me...and possibly one day for Fuller. While all birthdays are special, his is even more so because he shares the same birthday as his natural mother. Last year in the midst of his celebration, he looked at Billy and me and said "Today is also my real Momma's birthday too!" He wasn't sad but just made the statement. Regardless, it was on his mind. I usually foster open dialogue about their birth family/parents. However, on this particular day it is harder for me because I just don't know whether I should or not. If he is excited, then I don't want to rain on his parade by mentioning it. He said nothing about it this year so, I just sort of followed his lead and didn't say anything either. However, I do worry that as he grows older and the excitement of his youth wears off that his birthday may start to haunt him. Awwh, the beauties and uglies of adoption.

How We Roll

Summer is in full swing here around the Vinyard household. Temps are in the high 90's and only sun is in the forecast. With every trickle of sweat, I remember why I love the winter months. Oh well, I digress. Anyway, this week has been filled with swimming and a baseball tournament game nightly. However, two of the most unexpected things have been the highlights of the week for our kids: Rolling with the windows down in the car and getting hosed down at the car wash. Seriously, they did not get nearly this excited at Disney World!

When we left the game the other night, I decided to roll down the windows and peel open the moon roof. This goes against my grain BIG time because as soon as the wind hits my hair, I start looking like a cross between orphan Annie and Ronald McDonald. However, we were going home for the rest of the evening. So down with the windows and up went the volume! By their reaction, I suppose it was the first time I had done such with them in our near two years together. My word, I can't even express the shrills, giggles, and the pure enjoyment of three little kids getting to roll with the windows down! The best of all, it was FREE entertainment!

Then yesterday, I went to one of those little old fashioned car washes near our home. Usually, I go to a full service one but didn't have time and the car was really starting to grate my nerves. They watched me with the soapy brush (and asked a gazillion questions) and then when rinsing with water, I turned around and let them have it! We had just been swimming so they were already in swimsuits and flip flops. I sprayed the kids as they jumped, laughed and screamed "Do it again!" Every car the went down the road stared and/or laughed at us! No fancy Country Club memberships here when you can take you kids to the car wash and hose them down for a buck twenty-five!

I can already envision the kids going back to school in August and the teacher asking what was the best thing they did all summer!

Go Ahead and Throw Me From the Truck!

On May 10th Billy turned 40 years old. The very next day, I turned 35. There wasn't a lot of celebrating going on this year due to the other pressing matters at hand. Anyway, Zippy and I met Billy at the local steak house during lunch so I could get my free birthday meal. For some reason, a free meal once a year at Billy's favorite eating establishments really warms his heart. Since he had collected on his free meal the day before, he was ready to make sure I got mine the next day too! While there, I ran into our Case Worker. You know, the one that I'm not super duper wild about. Anyway, as Billy was working the salad bar over, I was able to tell her to keep us in mind should a "situation" arise that may mesh well with our family. Our home study isn't current but I know that DFCS can work some quick magic when needed. Let me rephrase that last sentence: DFCS can work some quick magic when they WANT to. She asked me about what Billy thought about it. Throughout our entire home study and adoption process, she was always very concerned about Billy because she knew he was scared to death. I told that I felt confident if the right child came up, then I'm sure Billy would rise to the occasion. After all, he is just that kind of guy!

I did end up telling him about that conversation a few days later while driving down the road. He didn't tell me "No!" but instead he laughed nervously and said "Ugghh, I should throw you out of this truck!" I *think* that might have been my "YES!"

However, there are some days that even I think I need to be thrown from the truck!

A Few of My Favorite Things

These photos were taken about a year ago by Lacey D. Photography. They remain as two of my favorite photos that I have of the children. While the kids have grown and changed so much in the last year, I thought I would post these in remembrance of all the fallen soldiers on this beautiful Memorial Day weekend. God Bless America!

God of This City

On April 27, 2011 my hometown of Ringgold, Georgia was struck by an F-5 tornado. It was one of the many towns across the Southeast that was terrorized with tornado activity on that dreaded Spring day. The storm claimed 8 precious lives and tore our little town literally into a million pieces, both physically and emotionally. It was a day that a nightmare really came true. It is something you see happen in far away places while watching the evening news. However, you never expect it to be the place were you were born and raised, the place that you have always called "home."

However, keeping with the American spirit of compassion and patriotism, our little community is already starting to heal. While there is so much pain that has came out of this terrible storm, there has also been so much goodness to surface too. Through volunteer work, I have met some of the nicest people and have made many new friends along the way. This storm has really restored my faith in mankind and I hope many others feel the same way. This t-shirt quote sums it up well: "You can't keep a small town down."

In the heart of dear old Dixie
Beneath the White Oak tree
Proudly stands our Alma Mater
Ringgold hail to thee!
Alma Mater, Alma Mater
True and loyal be
Ever crowned with grace and glory
Ringgold Hail to Thee!