Photo by Shanna Hullender Photography

"Adopting one child won't change the world; but for that child, the world will change."

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Doing It B.I.G.

Often, I am asked "Why three?" My response is usually "Why not?"

When we first started the foster to adopt process, we initially set out to adopt one child. While doing our Impact training classes, we ran into a couple that we know that informed us they were doing the same thing but was hoping to adopt a specific pair of children in which they already knew. I remember thinking "Oh my goodness, two kids at once!" The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. In theory, I always thought having three kids would be ideal but honestly I knew I would never make it through three pregnancies and infancies. Seriously, I would have probably needed to be sent home from the hospital with a Prozac drip bag!

I didn't sleep for months. Literally months, people. I have this terrible one track mind and it was focused on adoption. I stayed up night after night combing the Internet and looking at photo listings. My heart broke for the sibling groups.

Our town has been hit very hard by the recession. At one point, we had the second highest unemployment in the country. Everywhere I turned, there were people without work and struggling financially. I was also told by one Social Worker that our county has one of the highest rates of terminating parental rights in the whole state (that is another topic for another night). Anyway, I kept wondering who was available to take all these kids? Then I looked at myself. I was blessed beyond belief. While my husband's business had been hit hard by the economic down turn, we still manage to make it.

A person only has one life on this Earth so why not make the most of it, right? Well, I've never been a person to spend Saturday night on the couch. So why not three? Billy would ask "Three?" like I had lost my mind. My husband is the kind of guy that gives everything he does 110%. I knew he would be more Dad than one little kid could handle! He also happens to be a master of propaganda. So one day, I replied "Billy, anyone can adopt just one child BUT if you are going to do it, THEN YOU NEED TO DO IT BIG!" He chuckled because he knew I had won at his own game. Then around that same time, we had gone to church on a Sunday night and the sermon was basically about faith. I smiled at him like "I told you so!" When a person is in their comfort zone, we feel like we have more control and rely less on God. However, God wants us to step outside of our comfort zone and live by faith. When we do get uncomfortable, then we find ourselves needing Him more. We all know there is only room for Him in the Captain's chair! So, that night when we got in the car, Billy gave me permission to call DFCS and change our status to three.

Reasons to adopt a sibling group:

--this is pretty obvious but it keeps siblings together.
--because the kids will always have each other when they have lost everything else they have known in life.
--because the children have someone else in which to share the emotions/experience of losing their parents, moving to a new home, being adopted, etc.
--because there is a great need for families to take sibling groups.
--because you will never have the time to spend another Saturday night on the couch!

For the record, I took the kids into two clothing stores today. I was asked by 5people "Where are they from?" Actually, one young lady asked me if they were my children. I replied "Yes." She then asked "Well, where is there Dad from?" She looked mortified when I told her they are adopted!


  1. Mortified? Isn't that a sad reaction! You know once when we were bring our son home, a woman in the airport asked us this "So, why did you adopt him? Is he an orphan or is it just that his parents didn't want him anymore?" I was so thankful that he was so little and had no idea what she had said!
    I really enjoyed reading this post. I would actually like to do a sibling adoption sometime. I hoped for that for the first time but usually from Sri Lanka, they just allow one baby at a time but that was just fine for us as well.:) I love your attitude and agree with you! Why not go big and have a full happy crazy home with lots of love, laughter and energy?
    You children are lovely by the way!
    God bless you and your family!

  2. Our situation started similar. We set out to adopt 1 child from foster care. At our first meeting with our oldest, his bgma asked if we would adopt baby brother as well (who at the time had not been born). It is now 4 yrs later we we have adopted FOUR siblings. Just goes to show God's ways are not our ways. I think one of my worst comments have come from a pastor's wife whose church we were visiting. She asked very snidely, "Where did you get them from?".

  3. Hi. I found your blog while researching foster-to-adopt. I just wanted to say that your children are so beautiful! We have two little girls (bi-racial and full African American) whom we adopted at birth. They are the light of our lives. We feel called to do fostercare and hopefully also adopt from f.c. too. We'd love to adopt a sibling set. Thank you for blogging about your family :-)