Photo by Shanna Hullender Photography

"Adopting one child won't change the world; but for that child, the world will change."

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Ugly - The Toxicology Report I

Once upon a time, I thought my family was "normal." WRONG, but hey that is what I get for "thinking!" My mother's family was very small and close knit, especially when my grandparents were alive. I have one uncle and aunt and their two kids (cousins) on that side of the family. We all lived within a few miles of each other. I have one brother that is 8 years older than me. Growing we up, we were not close due to the age difference but when I moved back from Nashville in 2003, we began to grow very close. We celebrated birthdays, holidays and milestones together. All was great!

My brother, L, married a gal from the Philippines in 1993. If you have the stereotypical imagine of a quiet, subservient Asian lady in mind, then please toss it out right now! Instead, my sister-in-law (SIL) is loud, opinionated, materialistic and down right offensive. Even still, we accepted and embraced her. After all, isn't that what family is suppose to do?

So in July 2009 after Billy and I decided we would accept placement of our children, I obviously shared the news with my brother. I even shared with him the answer to the million dollar question: "What are they?"

I was hesitant to tell my brother that my children are African American, American Indian, Caucasian and Hispanic. I made him promise on his life that he would not tell her. Yep, I'm talking about my very brown, Filipino, heavy accent, broken English speaking SIL! To this day, she is the only person that I know that does not know the truth. While I am not ashamed of my children's heritage, I knew telling my SIL the truth would be like handing an assassin a loaded gun.

The very first (possibly the second time she met my kids), she kept talking about them being "Mexican" in front of them. She wanted to know what parent was what and so forth. I only told the partial truth because maternal instincts told me that I had to protect my children. So, I lied.

There in my brother's living room, a few things I have learned in life reaffirmed themselves:

1. Some people are as clear as gloss
2. Gut instincts are rarely wrong
3. Live life with little regret

To be continued...


  1. Ok, so so NOT the point of your post, but I didn't know your kids had some AA in them! Woo hoo! :) Love ya, girl!

  2. Could Zippy be any cuter? Seriously! And way to be open and honest about your adoption and the resulting feelings all around.

    1. Your children are beautiful even if they were POLKA DOTTED w/STRIPES!! God made them in HIS image and as far as the SIL...well...I'm not gonna even go there! :)