Thursday, January 13, 2011
I Told You So
My head has been full of adoption related thoughts lately. I hate it when I get fixated on something. You know you have a bad habit when you start annoying yourself! Sometimes, I don't know when to leave well enough alone. I am wondering if that is the case with the adoption thoughts.
I do feel like the cards are stacked against me. First, I have a husband that is not on board...at all. At least when I asked him about it the other day, I did have enough sense to leave that conversation well enough alone at least for a little while! Secondly, we would need more space for another person in our household. Selling is the most desirable but most unlikely option. Building would be the best bet but would be costly and stressful, not to mention we can't afford it. Then, I would need a larger, less fuel efficient vehicle which I can't afford either. Lastly but certainly not least, there will be all the opinions to deal with even if the first three obstacles didn't exist.
I know when we got our three kiddos there were people waiting for us to crash and burn so they could tell us "I told you so." I don't think they wanted us to fail but were just looking at the situation from a pessimistic view point. I don't have hard feelings toward those people because adoption is such a risky and oftentimes pessimistic ordeal. Take lives, cultures, experiences, family and meshing them all together while trying to put on a big happy face isn't always the easiest thing to do. In reality, I know I could overcome the first three objections. However, the part that scares me the most is the risk that is involved by adding another kid to our mix. No not just a kid, but a teenager. Right now our situation is so perfect and I would hate to ruin it. It would be hard to hear a naysayer say "I told you so." The stakes are high. So once again, tonight I will go to bed praying for direction and dreaming of possibilities.