Photo by Shanna Hullender Photography

"Adopting one child won't change the world; but for that child, the world will change."

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Ugly Part II

We spent the last week at the beach. It was an amazing time: amazingly fun, amazingly hot, amazingly tiring, amazingly sandy, amazingly tanned, etc. This was the kids first trip to the beach. Actually on the first day they came to live with us, they asked me if we were going to the beach. I had made them a little scrap book about Billy, me and our families. One photo was of us on the beach. It is so sweet that even to this day, they like to look and read through that book.

Blogger isn't working well with me tonight and is not allowing me to upload photos. Oh well, another day.

Anyway, we loaded up and rolled out to the beach for a week long stay. My kids are dark skinned and I have never even seen them get a hint of a sunburn. Even still, I greased them down in SPF 50 sunscreen a bare minimum of two times a day. Even then, they still got darker! I on the other hand wore SPF 6 and still hardly look like I have seen sunlight in months! It is so interesting how God made mankind so similiar yet all so differently. Apparently, everyone around us was thinking the same thing!

In one particular gift shop, I noticed a store clerk really checking us out. I knew we were throwing her for a loop. Then she asked me if we lived on a boat! Seriously, she wanted to know how our kids got so tanned! I laughed and make some joke about how we must have looked ship wrecked.

Then Billy was at the pool and a German guy asked in front of our kids where our kids were from. Billy's response was "Dalton, Georgia." Then another day, a tween girl asked Billy why his kids were so dark when he is so white.

OK people, I am not politically or socially correct. Never have been and don't really care to be. HOWEVER, even I have more tact or perhaps more sense than to ask questions like that to a complete and total stranger. The part that ticks me off to no end are the questions that we get asked in front of our kids like they are deaf and dumb. I'm a smart aleck and some may go as far as calling me a smart a**. Both are terms that I really don't dispute. However, I have been trying to set a good example for my kids and also try to not give them a complex about their adoptive situation. However, people are really starting to get under my skin. Seriously, off the top of my head I could think of some very good comebacks about race and color to have spat off to the GERMAN guy. Trust me when I say that I would have been completely capable of clearing the pool with a snarky response to his inquiry. Seriously, I have to censor myself. I have to pray about it. I love the stunned looks, the stammering, and they way people have to readjust themselves when you make a profoundly smart aleck comment/statement to someone. But I am a Momma now and I can't live life Jim Carey in Liar Liar and go around and say everything that I think like I use to. I now have six little eyes and ears watching and listening to me. I love the first song on my playlist by Hillsong. I try to remind myself of these lyrics:

Everyone needs compassion

A love that's never failing

Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness

Kindness of our Saviour

The hope of nations....

Don't get me wrong, I don't get offend by everyone that asks me questions, not at all. Some people just rub me raw though with the way the come across. Of course, those people present themselves completely different that those that are sincere. I don't mind telling people that our kids are adopted and that they are multi-racial. If anything, it is something I love sharing should the situation present itself correctly. What I do hate are the people press harder after I say my kids are "multi-racial" and then give them the run down of those races involved. For some, they feel the need to know what parent was what so they can figure out who was getting with who. I mean, I don't go around asking strangers how much they weigh, how often they have sex with their spouse, or how much they reported on last years income taxes. Why do they feel so comfortable with asking me such intimate questions regarding my children and their history? You.Would. Not. Believe. the questions I am asked about my kids and their biological family. Isn't some stuff suppose to be private? Seriously, people...

I know that we will continue to draw a lot of attention to ourselves, after all, my babies are beautiful! But I have been wondering for a long time, how I will handle all these inquiries in front of my children since I can't tell those inquiring minds that they need a nose job, need to get a life, or that they are freaks, etc. I've finally come up with a decent idea that is definitely more of the Christian attitude! I'm going to have business cards printed up with my kiddos photos on them along with this blog address. The awesome photographer that I use, Lacey D. Cummings of Lacey D. Photography, inspired the idea. After each photo shoot, she gives me business cards with her information on them but they feature a photo of my kids. They are amazing! So I thought I would pick one of my most favorite pics and make it business card size with my blog address printed on it. So when I have someone that is digging too deep, I'm going to simply smile and hand them a card and nicely tell them that while I don't care to discuss all the details of our situation but that they can read what I am willing to share right here on this blog!

Sorry this was so long but I had to vent somewhere!


  1. People are just so dumb sometimes. Really, it is SO none of their business. If someone is genuinely curious because they're considering adoption it's one thing, but for all the nosy-bodies...ugh. It's been fairly easy for us since Isabel is Caucasian (even though she doesn't look anything like us), but still, some people are just dumb about adoption. I think your card idea is great. It's a nice way to send the "it's none of your business" message!

    1. Love this idea!! Just the other day I was getting a new SS card for our girl and the clerk leans forward in the window and says "do she...know she adopted". Seriously lady?!! I mean she is sitting right here with me, peering at you thru the HUGE glass window and can hear you CLEARLY...what makes you think ADOPTION is an ugly word!! Ughhhhhh!! My girl had a great comeback....Yes m'am, I'm "DOPTED" and my last name is now ______! Oh my the lady's face was priceless!!!!